Ciao, Roma

You know, before my first full day here, it honestly never occurred to me that I might not love Italy. Not for one second. My grandmother was born outside of Torino and my grandfather was born in the south of Italy, and I grew up eating lasagna and Italian cookies at Christmastime. I worship the tomato. I've read The Prince and The Divine Comedy and countless books about Michelangelo and Florence and Rome. I ate up the Godfather and the Sopranos. This is the Homeland. And yet, the Italy I'm walking around in bears no resemblance to the place I thought I'd be seeing.

I'm so sad to say this, but Rome is undoubtedly the single most disappointing tourism experience I've ever had. I feel like I'm saying that the Emperor has no clothes, but Rome (in July) is just not fun. I think to appreciate it better, I'll have to try coming back sometime when the crowds are thinner, maybe in, like, January.

There is just no question that Rome is loaded with eye-popping goodies, and I think it'd take years (a lifetime?) to do justice to all the art and culture and history the city has to offer. The problem is that those qualities are so attractive to so many people that the crowds simply overwhelm the sites in the summertime. And more than overwhelming the sites, it's hard not to conclude that the tourists have overwhelmed and consumed the culture of the city.

It's hard to even describe how congested Rome is. Every marquee site in the city is packed like the biggest shopping mall in town the day before Christmas, and everybody has the same stressed-out, glassy-eyed intent on acquiring their objective. That makes seeing anything in the city about as much fun as last-minute Christmas shopping. It's not tourism, it's a feeding frenzy.

Plus, it really feels like we tourists are the parasites and Rome is the host, and the parasites have finally consumed the host, just from sheer numbers. Everywhere I go, I'm hearing nothing but American English, mixed with a smattering of Spanish. English is far, far more prevalent on the street than Italian, at least anywhere within a half mile of the main sites. And in those areas, the restaurants serve microwaved pasta to people who they think can't tell the difference. I've eaten three restaurant meals here, and only one of them seemed to have a small cluster of Italians. That restaurant was very good, another was excellent, and the third was thoroughly indifferent (though as expensive as the other two). I've walked for hours and hours through neighborhoods all over the city in search of areas that feel authentic, and I did find a couple of areas that seemed a bit less touristy, but the ones I could find are isolated and small. Clearly it's because I was looking in the wrong place, but I've never been anywhere before where it was so much work just to find a neighborhood that didn't look like its main industry was selling t-shirts and magnets that say I <3 insert-name-of-city-here.

The bottom line is that there is great stuff to see here, but actually fighting your way through the crowds to see it is so hard and takes so long that it's almost not worth it. On Sunday, I visited the Coliseum and the Roman Forum, and they were so packed that it took almost all day just to do something that should have taken two hours, tops. It was unbelievably hot and crowded, but they were reasonably well curated places, and I had downloaded audio guides to help me figure out what I was seeing. It was okay, but it should have been special, and it wasn't.

Yesterday, I walked through the heat to three different museums and they were all closed (most museums close on Mondays here--completely my fault for not remembering). In fact, all day long, other than checking out the public squares that I walked past, I successfully managed to get into only one place--a church with a crypt decorated with the bones of 4,000 monks. I know it was supposed to be making a statement about the insignificance of humanity, but it felt callous and macabre. It completely creeped me out, and 90 seconds after entering, I walked out. It was a very small site--I actually did look at the entire display. But it wasn't something I wanted to linger over--despite the artistic and religious intention, it just felt disrespectful

After that, I walked for awhile and found a cafe for a soda and a gelato. A can of soda and a medium-sized gelato, to be precise. When the tab came, it was 10 euros--$15. Game over. Hot, tired, overwhelmed by the crowds, and feeling like I was getting ripped off at every opportunity, that was the moment when I just gave up trying to like Rome, at least on this trip. I headed back to my hotel at around 6 pm and read my book and haven't left the hotel since (It's 11 am the following day).

I bought a ticket to Florence yesterday, and I'm leaving in about an hour. I opted for the cheap slow train so I could enjoy the scenery. I'm told that Florence will be even worse than Rome with respect for crowds, so I'll see what I can in a day or two and then flee for a small town. Hopefully things will go better when I get away from the tour cities, but if they don't, I will move on from Italy. It's costing a fortune to be here, and so far it hasn't come close to delivering a return on the investment.

I just can't believe that this has been my experience here. I'm staring at this computer screen completely astonished at what I've written. But here I am in Italy, feeling as though this experience is a waste of time and money, and wishing I were elsewhere. Wow.

If nothing else, though, this leg of the trip is helping me realize very clearly what I value in traveling experiences and what I'll sacrifice in order to get it. I like authenticity and a feeling of visiting an intact culture that is open to visitors but that hasn't been coopted by them. I would gladly trade off marquee sites in exchange for feeling like a place has accessible people who are willing to engage with travelers. And if I get that, it doesn't bother me if the showers are cold and the accommodations aren't very comfortable. By that yardstick, I guess Rome is the last place I should have tried to visit--it's about as authentic as Epcot Center, only with more Americans. ;)

Anyway, off to Florence, and then who knows what!